Last week, after finally completing and uploading an article I had been working on for two years, my boss’s friend informed me over the weekend about a critical mistake, rendering the efforts of the past period futile. Despite my boss previously likening my work to “a decade of honing a sword,” now I am being encouraged to resign and carefully plan my career path. He told me that he will continue paying me for a few more months and I should continue working diligently during this time.
Speaking of this resignation, at least there’s some basic dignity involved. Though this job has been frustrating, it has significantly improved my writing skills. Now I know how to enhance readability, and I’m actively practicing it.
Back when I started this job, I aimed to tackle intriguing topics. I remember one teacher mentioning Faraday and Franklin’s “Newborn Baby” as a metaphor to express that any topic that peaks curiosity could be good, regardless of its application. However, the topics I worked on then didn’t give me a sense of accomplishment, and difficult interpersonal relationships made me miserable. The teacher I admired privately had poor opinions about my boss, and even though I didn’t particularly like my boss, I still found the lack of authenticity unsettling. So, I switched to a workplace that was more consistent between appearance and reality and began working with my current boss.
Compared to my previous environment, my growth here has been quite noticeable. However, it’s been tough when my opinions clash with my boss’s. I know there are times when I’m mistaken, but there are also times when I’m unfairly criticized. Here, my boss’ stubbornness constantly clashes with my own. Prioritizing objectives over reasoning here has left me mentally and physically exhausted. I don’t know if the growth outweighs the fatigue. All I can say is that while I appreciate the merits of my boss’s thinking, the more I adhere to it, the more I dislike myself.
After discussing my resignation with my boss this week, I was anxious all night initially, but then I tried hard to prove my worth. Now, I’m starting to accept the reality and consciously plan for what comes next.